APPEARED ON FASTWOMEN.SUBSTACK.COM ON FEB. 10, 2025 | BY ALISON WADE

Last summer, Abbe Goldstein '17 came close to stepping away from professional running. Struggling with her physical and mental health, she knew something needed to change. So she decided to prioritize her happiness, which meant upending many aspects of her life. 

It didn’t take long for those changes to start paying off. On January 31, in her second race of the indoor track season, Goldstein ran 4:28.61 for the mile, a 5.54-second mile personal best, and she dipped under the coveted 4:30 barrier for the first time. The performance validated her belief that there are many paths to success in distance running, and that taking care of her mental health is a critical ingredient in her success.

Goldstein, 25, was a Pennsylvania state champion for Germantown Academy, and she won the high school mile at the Millrose Games in 2017. She graduated with personal bests of 4:48.03 in the mile and 9:33.96 in the 3,000m. During her first two years at Harvard University, Goldstein was mainly a distance runner. But she experienced intense race-related anxiety, which led to gastrointestinal problems that affected her performance. 

Goldstein became depressed, and with the support of Harvard coach Alex Gibby, she made the decision to sit out the 2019 cross country season, in the fall of her junior year, and began seeing a school-provided therapist who had a background in athletics. “I literally owe [the therapist for] my resurgence back into running,” Goldstein told Fast Women. When she returned to the track in the winter of 2020, she began focusing on middle distances, and she quickly lowered her mile personal best to 4:35.70. 

That season, Goldstein qualified for the NCAA Indoor Championships for the first time, but the day before the meet was to begin, it was canceled due to the pandemic. (The Ivy League had preemptively made the decision not to send any athletes.) And though Goldstein graduated from Harvard with a sociology degree in the spring of 2021, she never had the opportunity to run for the school again, as the Ivy League did not resume athletic competition until the fall of 2021.

She was able to compete unattached, however, and at Sound Running’s Track Meet in May of 2021, she had another big breakthrough, dropping her 1500m time to 4:10.94. Over the next two years, she earned a master’s degree in public policy at the University of New Mexico while using her remaining NCAA eligibility.

During her time in Albuquerque, Goldstein began running in the 4:10 range for 1500m more consistently, and she qualified for additional NCAA championships. Her fifth-place finish in the 1500m at the 2023 USATF Indoor Championships was also a big confidence booster. She was out of indoor eligibility, so she was running unattached that season, and she held her own against established pros.

That summer, Goldstein signed a professional contract with Under Armour’s Mission Run Baltimore Distance and made the move to Maryland to train with the group. She felt ready to have another breakthrough year, but instead she got strep throat twice, and then mono. And last spring, the depression returned. Goldstein tried to make Baltimore work, but she ultimately decided that both her location and training situation needed to change if she was going to be happy and perform her best. “I think some people might be better at compartmentalizing their mental health and their execution and races,” Goldstein said. “But it’s so tied together for me.”

She left Baltimore Distance, whose women’s team has since disbanded, moved home to Pennsylvania for several months, and worked to heal, mentally and physically. Goldstein had always wanted to move to Brooklyn, where she knew she would have instant community, but she figured she would have to wait until she was done with running. She decided to make the move anyway.

“I knew the only way I could even hope to have a better season with running would be if I was happier,” she said. And Goldstein has been pleasantly surprised by how strong the New York City running community is, and especially how many sub-elite women there are to train with.

“I'm someone who’s so social and extroverted,” she said. “It’s been so nice having so many people to run with and meeting new people. It’s been so welcoming and exactly what I had hoped for and needed.”

Goldstein is currently looking for a job that would be compatible with running at a high level, and she would love to find a sponsor, but she’s trying not to put too much pressure on using running to pay the bills. “Hopefully I run fast because I want to run fast,” she said. “And then that might [lead to] financial support.”

Once a week, Goldstein takes the subway up to The Armory, where she can pay $10 to get in a track workout. She estimates she has company for half her workouts and three-quarters of her easy runs. She considered joining one of New York City’s many teams, but having switched coaches so many times in recent years, she decided she wanted to go with something somewhat familiar.

Her former Harvard teammate, Judy Pendergast, is now an assistant coach at the school. Pendergast offered her coaching services somewhat jokingly at first, but Goldstein couldn’t see any reason why not to have Pendergast help her get through her fall training. Goldstein found herself enjoying the training more than she had in a long time, and she appreciated the rapport she has with Pendergast. So they decided to continue their remote coach-athlete relationship.

“You don’t have to just take the conventional path that’s laid out,” Goldstein said. “I tried that. I went to the school that was really good at running, and I went to a professional training group. And now, living in New York, working with one of my best friends as a coach, I just set a [big] PR. So I think you just have to know what’s gonna work for you.”

Next up, Goldstein plans to run Saturday’s David Hemery Valentine Invitational at Boston University. With her new personal best, she’s excited that she doesn’t have to worry about getting into a competitive heat anymore. She hopes to earn a spot at the following week’s USATF Indoor Championships, which requires hitting the 4:27.00 auto qualifying standard or having one of the 12 fastest times. With the event taking place on Staten Island, it’s basically a home meet. 

When Goldstein contemplated stepping away from professional running, one of the things that kept her in it was the fact that she hadn’t broken 4:30 in the mile yet. The Endless Mileage Project plants a tree in its “Fast Forest” for every U.S. woman who breaks 4:30. Goldstein wanted her tree. But now that she has earned it, she’s wondering what else she can accomplish.

”Now that I’ve had this breakthrough, it’s another moment of, ‘Okay, I do have a place in this sport and I can be really good,’” she said. “It was really hard to believe that for a while.”